sometimes...things just arent what they seem to be...and no matter how much u try to explain things...sometimes u just make it worse...and end up digging yourself into a bigger hole...so...the wise thing to do...is just stop explaining....although u might not make the hole disappear....at least it wont get bigger....besides sometimes theres only so much "digging" you can do...and "digging" is a tedious task... not only is it exhausting for the the ones who do the digging...but also the ones that are sitting there and watching u "dig"...sometimes ppl find themselves surrounded by holes...some holes they didnt know about... and some holes they were deep in....and sometimes certain holes get confused for other holes...so ...for tonite...for the time being...all i can do...is stop digging...all this time i thought i was getting out of the hole by "digging" but ..but some observers told me....sometimes its just better to let the holes fill up by themselves....perhaps they're right...i mean..afterall....they MUST be doing something right...otherwise wouldnt they Be in their OWN hole...too busy to help u get out of urs?

keep in mind, there are different kind of holes...some u end up in because of ur own stupidity....and some ...just sneak up on u like pot holes...its ur fault cuz u should have been more careful and looked ahead...but remember..pot holes happen...some potholes just cant be foreseen...some holes are like potholes because they start as small cracks, but eventually become a big pit and everyone just falls in who knew such a small crack would amount to something so big?....regardless a hole is a hole, big or small, wide or narrow, ur in the hole either because u deserve it, or because u fell in blindly, or maybe u thought it was some kind of neat in-ground pool...and then u realize..ITS A HOLE...for watever reason ur in a hole...=P  as important as it is to realize how u got in the hole. its just as important to get out of the hole and bury it...and continue on down the yellow brick road....but alot of things...are easier said than done.....but what do i know... im just exhausted from a day of digging...its really sad to realize that after all that sincere digging...u think u've made progress... and then an observer says u might have just gotten urself further in the hole....and he/she says maybe its time to let the hole fill itself up....hmm...MAYBE...

its funny how when it rains...it pours....

So apparently Xanga is the new fad these days especially amongst Cornell kids but everyone in general, i had this damn thing since february and its the close of april and i finally decide to write in it...thats such a typical ellen thing to do...

its 10:05 sunday morning and as usual im up doing laundry..and so im killin some time...

I was suprised to see what a small world it was...i was randomly looking at one of my friend's xanga pages...and before i knew it was kept stumbling into the xanga pages of ppl of my past...and not just one or two but quite a sum of people...it was nostalgic...and refreshing to realize these people do still exist, and exist well...who knows if they even remember me, at first i started signing guestbooks to leave my imprint...but after like the 9th guestbook i just stopped, ppl would think i was a stalker...or really had nothing better to do...*The latter is more appropriate the the first* but both are nothing to be exceptionally proud of...  neways ...since ive always been too lazy to hand write a journal...maybe this one will work out better...but u guys all know that i was never good with the consistency thing....

haha besides i see xanga as an extension of AIM profiles...u KNOW u've found ur self sitting on the comp ...sometimes u may not even realize it...but ur thumbing thru ppl'z AIM profiles...yes i too am guilty of that...more often that i'd like to admit...but at least thru xanga i can get a better detailed account of what my friends are up to...in other words  it'll help me better hone my snoooping skills...muhahha =D hey if u post it...i'll read it =P  so writers beware...i guess this is my first OFFICIAL entry...because the other one i was too embarrassed of so i eliminated...now that i've said that...it makes me conscious of this entry...but watever...blaH~ =P

i know this probably sounds cheesy, but at least xanga will now allow me to keep some sort of written account of my life...whether other ppl care or not..haha but it seems that our lives zip thru so quickly before we can even write the little details down...but i will try my best ...but u all know how exciting my day to days are ...*hoo-rah* muhahaha sarcasm is such a great form of expression...